Personal ramblings, sneak peeks, raw thoughts and opinions about random things that seem to be important at the time
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Just The Way
I write a lot about love. All the ends and outs. All the sweet moments from the beginning to the dreadful endings that seem to always get stuck in our minds more than the good times. The good times that actually happened but are foggy because of the indescribable things we do to the ones we love. I write a lot about love because I am love. I use the word "love" extremely too much. Any realist would say that someone can't simply love that many things. But the truth is, I really do. I love people. I love red heads. I love animals like lions, crows, turtles, dogs, cats, on occasion a spider here and there. I love trees. Big and tall. I love smiles. I love hugs. I love heart to heart conversations. Conversations just for the heck of conversing. Conversations to resolve an issue. Conversations that teach me something new. I love shoes. I love music. I love clothes. I love colors. I love food. I love velvet (that's random). I write so much about love that I harshly criticize myself for not writing about anything else. There are so many other things to write about in the word. Politics. News. Environment. Fashion. Food. People. Places. The human body. But I choose to write about love. Sometimes I'm annoyed and eagerly frustrated at my consistency in writing about love. I've been trying my best to venture and talk about other things, but I end up right where I tried to escape from. Even my daydreams and conversations with myself are about love. I sometimes daydream about writing love letters to the persons I can't stop thinking about. I actually dialogue with myself about what I would write in the letter while pacing the floor of course. I write about love a lot. It's in my blood. I live everyday through my heart's eyes. This is no glamorous life. Why do you reckon people live by "love ain't shit", "don't wear your heart on your sleeve", what's love got to do with it". I believe they all say it because some how some why they have been hurt. I have had my feelings hurt, crushed actually. I have felt like someone was stabbing me in my precious heart. But no matter those emotions I felt, my affair with love remained intact. I cannot escape it. It pumps through my veins and pours out of my mouth. It appears in my smile and can be seen in my eyes. Talk with me for a little while and I guarantee you'll hear the L O V E in some form of the word if not the word itself. When me and another person are in a relationship, they have no excuse but too know that I love them. Strange thing is, I don't like saying "I love you" that much. Weird huh? I'd rather feel it through my bones and have you listen to my heart beat. I'd rather show you through me cooking for you, buying you a cheesy watch with your favorite cartoon, listen to you, take interest in what your life is becoming, kissing your neck, massaging your back, being playful with you. I need to get more better comfortable with saying "I love you". I don't want that to be my biggest regret when I get old. When I get sick. When I die. I didn't say it enough as I showed it. I didn't balance it out. Sometimes just saying the words in writing, over the phone, or in person is what someone you love and care for needs for that moment. I don't doubt that love needs to be shown, but I also understand the beauty of it being said. Like many things in this world, showing love and saying "I love you" needs balance. In my opinion. I hold the belief that we are all connected. Yes all of us. Even the mean old woman who looks at you disgracefully. We are all living on this planet, together. The land mass of this planet is huge, but we are interconnected that I'll bet we both have someone in common. Or the person we have in common has someone else we know or familiar with in common. It's a small world. It's true. Even if we never meet, you apart of me and vice versa. We share this planet and all of it's resources with each other. Oxygen. Water. Soil. Sunlight. Back to my point, when I miss people I love I always try to tell them how much I miss them. New though forming right now, if I hold the belief that we are all connected then how can I simply say I miss them like we are separate from one another. They, whomever they are, say love knows no bounds. That's referencing the physical distance. I read something about something the French say. Regardless if it's true or not I'm using this in my semantics. Supposedly, and no there is no references or sources to this information, the French don't really use the words "I miss you". They instead say "Tu me manques" which closely translates to "You are missing from/to me". I don't know French so corrections are welcome. My point though is the difference that translation has. If I was to text a significant person in my life: You are missing from me, I feel like automatically without hesitation they know how important they are to me and a smile is guaranteed to be on their face or in their heart. Man. Just think to hear that from someone. How would you respond? What would you think? I think there'd be no questioning if someone loves, thinks, misses you with those words. You are missing from me. It just sounds like you are essential to their being. I write a lot about love. I love love. There are no ifs, ands, or butts. I write a lot about love. It'll never stop. There's a vast world out there in the topic of love. I'm here to explore every inch.