Thursday, December 27, 2012

Maybe I just don't get it

Maybe it's because I don't have a child in college who doesn't have a job, cell phone bill to pay, rent for both me and my child, car insurance, and all the other bills, bills, bills, that come with my name on it. Maybe I'm just thinking it's easy to see that this is the 20th time I've been laid off from a job in Corporate America and I need to reevaluate my life. Maybe because I don't have all those responsibilities yet, I don't see the problem with sitting down with some paper and a pen and writing out what I love doing as a hobby and what I'm passionate about. Maybe I'm too young to understand that doing and becoming what I said I wanted to become when I was 9, 10, or 11 is too late and all that matters is paying bills on time and nothing else. Maybe I'm too hopeful to believe in this lay-off as a blessing trying to tell me something rather than punishing me. Maybe I'm too young and immature to understand the severity of finding a job in the same market that more than likely will lay me off again all in the name of getting my bills paid. Maybe I don't understand when people say they have faith in God, but faith without works is dead. Actually I don't understand when people say that. I thought you were a believer in God, then you would know that he would supply all your needs and then some. Especially if you've been through this situation more than 3 times and counting in your life. Maybe I'm too proud to be stressed and depressed about the loss. Maybe I'm too young to really and truly understand the severity of the situation. Maybe what I believe in is juvenile and I need to grow up (I will be entering the "real world soon). Maybe I need to open my eyes and see that I need to find a job quick because who else is going to make money for the household? Maybe I put too much faith in the Universe and the order of things and the saying that "Everything happens for a reason." Maybe I believe too much into looking within to find the answer to burning questions or simply asking God to send you a sign about what road to take. Maybe I'm too nonchalant and too gullible  I guess maybe that's why I'm a senior in college with no job. 

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