Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I DON'T follow trends -- well kinda -- sit, let me tell you more

I barely talk about things that are trending. I have an old soul and plus I keep to myself and I'm so busy with other things that sometimes this blog is not one of my priorities. But it's nothing like some inspiration at 6:11 in the morning to rant, rave, and debate about something that is very trendy these days around the world.

A woman's hair is her most important accessory. That should explain why it takes us women a few extra minutes than men to get ready. After we have on our cute outfit, did our makeup, our hair has to look so good. In the black community especially, women spend about 3-4 hours in the beauty salon getting dolled up. Relaxers, weave, infusions, and texlaxers are the most popular way a black woman will try to manage her own hair. But, a more interesting and very trendy trend has been sweeping the nations and has been asking for attention. I mean how could you not pay attention to a brown-skinned lady with a huge afro? "Going natural" has become this huge phenomenon. Some people have different reasons as to why they want to go, transitioning, and are natural. We all have our stories and I guess I'll share mine.

I finally cut off my relaxed ends March 18, 2011! For as long as I can remember I never quite understood why I was getting a "perm". I remember in middle school I asked my mom how my hair looked without a perm and she said "it's a big afro". I remember in high school when it was time to get touch ups, I could feel my new growth and wondered what those cool waves of hair I was feeling. My hair was cut short so of course I had to keep my "kitchen" layed (to this day, I still don't understand why it's called kitchen. Maybe someone wouldnt mind explaining it to me. My mom has tried for years.). Then when my hair grew out to a bob, I still had to get those stupid perms, touch ups on my roots and crap. I hated waited in anticipation, hearing her mix the perm around and slap the protective gloves on her hands and whether or not I had my milk or not, squirm in the chair because the chemical started to activate on my head. Granted the perm hadn't even been on my head for 7 minutes. When I knew I was getting a perm, I would try to prepare 3 days in advance, that meant no orange juice (acidic), no working out (opens up pores), and no sprite (carbonated beverage). The only drinks I drank in preparation for perm day was water and milk. When I got to college and made a facebook page and acquired 200 friends or so, I found one of my cousins. She was also in college and she had dreads. Beautiful dreads. I remember all throughout middle school and high school, her hair didn't seem to grow past her ear, but here she was in a picture with beautiful, healthy dreadlocks. So of course, she was even more motivation to "go natural". But I got shot down by the mothership.

I distinctly remember her saying, " I don't know why all of you girls go to college and want to chop all of your hair off, no no no!" Of course I got mad because this was something I didn't want to spontaneously just want to do, I always knew getting a perm wasn't something I enjoyed doing. Although after the burning, rinsing out, 1 hour ,that felt like the desert's breath on my neck, under the dryer, and curling irons and cute straight hair, I just always wanted to know how my hair looked without a relaxer. There is this baby picture of me in my room, I have two teeth and two afro puff ponytails and I remember wondering for the longest "how come she just didnt let my hair stay that way?" After mothership said no, I did my research on what seemed like every hair blog, sites, and of course youtube about healthy hair and also natural hair. I started adopting some of the things I was learning and I keep researching. I researched for a good 2 years ( and I still am) until my junior year (this year).

For two years, I decided to stretch my perms, get weave for the first time, and transition. Mothership started to change her previous stance on my hair after she saw progress. I think she just didn't want me to go cutting off my hair and looking manly, but come to think of it, I totally remember when she had a low-cut, like fade, like go to the barber-shop. Interesting. Anyways, every time we would step into a store with hair products, my face would glow and I would rush to pick up what one of my faved bloggers raved about and the mothership was totally in love with Kinky Curly Custard, for my hair not hers. This year, I had to come to a point with myself and realize that I am me. I know what I want, what I've wanted for a long time. I love the mothership and all her functions but some of those functions didn't see eye-to-eye with what I was trying to do for myself. The day after me and my friends got back from our 1 1/2 day trip to Panama City for Spring Break, I cut my relaxed hair off and was left with a lil more than a teeny weeny afro. I thought I loved playing in my hair when I was transitioning but now all I do and think about doing while I'm doing it is fingering my hair.

All of these natural hair sites on blogger and tumblr and websites showcase pictures of unique girls with uniquely different curls. I must say it is so awesome to see all of these beautiful women, with different hair textures and creativity when it comes to styling. Is natural hair a trend? Trends die and come back and all over again. You see 80's and 90's clothing has come back full force. For me personally, my natural hair is not a trend. This is what was given to me and yes I have always had it ( and once with some extensions for 3 months) but no more straight, relaxed hair for me. I love my curls and I love everyone with them as well. But more so, I love women with healthy hair, relaxed or natural. You can have a head of unhealthy, natural hair and you can have a head of healthy, relaxed hair. It all depends on how a person takes care of their accessory.

There are some who are following the leader and shadows but it makes me happy that there are so many resources available on this internet to help them become their own leader with their own shadow. I'm happy that so many people are embracing, enjoying, living and loving the hair that was given to them and I think we should continue to support any and every person willing and curious to learn any and everything that "going natural" has to offer. 


  1. PREACH! Soraya has been antural for a little over a year now, I, Kimberly, have been stretching my perms 3-4 months at a time, and Asia also stretches her perms. It's amazing what your hair can achieve by just being loved. Thank you for sharing this post, it was much needed!

    Kimberly, FWB

  2. you're welcome, thanks for reading. I started off by stretching my perms and I grew so in love with all my new growth that I wanted to be forever in love :) I hope all of you ladies continue to love every strand on your head.

  3. Oh so true! My patrner/sister of the blog Meesh went nautral as well and I recently thought about it,but I must admit- it was only a thought!Maybe when I get a little older will i go natural b/c the relaxers are working for me :-).We are now following. Stop by and if you enjoy lease do the same.