Sign Language

(Source)

Too scared to speak fearing it will

fuck up the mood, she continues to

lay on the bottom as his pelvic bone thrust

into hip bone. Damn he needs to eat some collard green with pork and beans. She needed to lose weight, but only in the stomach area. Muffin top is just a cute word to say not to look at. If they were in a picture, the effect would be sepia the way the basement had that 1987 feel to it. You know the one where when you swept the dirt off the floor, the wind would sneak it back in. The worn out couch, ashtrays on the ground, liquor bottled on top of the entertainment center, 15 inch television showing the scores to the previous game of Mortal Combat, the smell of fried chicken being warmed up, hormone levels rising, understanding between two complicated young adults. Waking up from a cat nap, his eyes greeted her body and welcomed his hands to caress her nose. They always spoke in sign language.  




Written by Atarah Rumph 
of course this is dedicated to someone

Uninvited Guest

i hate when you just up and show up
when I didn't even invite you.
You know that's rude right?
Not to mention, thoughtless.
I know you have a brain
so let's use it the next time
you decide to come into my dream
unannounced. 

Mask

i woke up last night
with this mask on my face
and i tried my hardest for it to come off
but for some strange reason it didnt budge
so now im stuck with this sick jason shit
on my face; and i gotta go to class like this
i wish it wasnt like this
i wish i wish the truth could just come on
out like when you eat too much wheat bread
to keep you regular
but in order for me to love in this world
the mask is needed to keep hidden
my secrets; secrets from everybody else in the streets
they dont needed know all my business
and you were the only i felt close with
and now you got torn away from me
over some dumb shit...
well i hope your life is doing just fine
becuz now they all blind by my smile
and they wanna go to the candy shop to
get some of those goodies but in the back of
my mind.. im still waiting on you
like a teenager waiting on her
boyfriend...
this is how my life
is going to be lived
behind a mask until
i understand the true reasons
for the end of our time

Below Freezing

before the freezing weather on this planet
she enjoyed the temperature of a
hot, beautiful, island where thing were
not quite perfect, because perfect has many imperfections
there was a great deal of rainstorms that brought the lavish
greenery on the island grow beautifully
the island had plenty of resources for an entire civilization to live off of
until the destruction crew came in
they cut down all the trees; to build shelter
they took all the food; to feed themselves
they put work before family time; which diminished their value
soon they evacuated the natives and put them on
danger island; the coldest place on earth
at night; the people felt numb even with thousands of blankets
life was never the same for them
EVER

Obvious

Wake up your mind, Wake up your soul,
get up of that stoop and crack a smile for the camera
You are beautiful and
 handsome too
but why all the hostility, negativity, and anger
 against me, against us, and against them
you hold the key in your heart to control your destiny
why care if they dont invite you along anymore
just goes to show you the 'true' them and true friends
 because really, "How many of us have them"
you were born by yourself, on a different month,day,year,
and time; remember you dont need nobody else
so you are unique and i advise you to stop yearning to follow them
take your own route to your road to success

Wasn't even thinkin' about you, until...

its funny how i miss you that quickly when you werent even on my mind just yesterday
its probably the thoughts of everything we did and everything we went through
that bumrushed my head and made me smile
wish I had your number so we could text all summer like we used to
but you on a whole different level
the one I never could reach, cause you were too deep
and i was just a nut that was hallow
soo as i swallow, I think about how we used to kiss and be oh so longing for each others touch
and every month I knew you would be around
You were that special but then not maybe not
it wasnt a love thing for sure
sad face, too bad, we coulda astonished the world
man, if you only knew how much you affected me
wait you did it intentionally
i respected you to the fullest
and got played
been over it for a while
but i cant get over your smile
and your laugh and your body
naw, Chill out it aint that serious
im just a lil delirious
i loved to kiss upon your neck
and make it wet and...
oh yeah thats as far as we ever went
But if we would have gone even further
we probably would...would...would
man I dont know... IM just speaking from the heart
Its crazy how i miss you from just a sight of your face
I remember graduation day NO night NO day && night [ haha lame]
anyways best night of my life
i was in the light... well that night...
sometimes i wish i could go back
shoot take me back... well not relationship wise but otherwise
damn, i really do miss you.
Hope you feel special.

Thoughts through the passion

Really cant believe that we at it again

we been doing it like this since probably 10 [am] that is

who would have ever thought that i'd even end up in his bed

he was always just a cool friend

but now he is my hot sweaty, sexy lover that can do it better than the others

i moan and scream louder than ever

damn, i feel like this is a got damn dream

i have come to believe that he just wants me for the sex

but everytime he looks at me, i can tell its much more than that

fact of the matter is: this shit is good, no fuck good... its FANTASTIC

its so big and huge, never in a million years that i ever thought such a huge

thing could fit, into "this"

I obey every single movement he says

to please him

and i know its really on the flip side

he strokin slow and deep, SHITTT i aint never had it like this befo'

its like he tellin me to jump like froggy and I really do what he wants

foreplay was off the chain but nothing compares to these great hours of pure bliss

at times during this, i feel like im going to spilt into two

Round # 6 and he aint tired yet

makin me splash everywhere and grip onto my hair

[ i might need a wig after this yall]

his lips are too die for; its like someone injected them with some plump stuff

and his tongue, i dont even wanna get started on

even while im still in the moment i can come

on down and make him go wild while i ride it like a pony

he hittin all the spots i never knew were there

its like he knows my every dying wish, when it comes to sex that is

as i sattled up for the "i lost count time" i see his eyes roll to the side and then back

and he moans and instantly I come

to my senses

funny how we think we know someone until we spend the night in their

bed then thats when all the hidden secrets and the freak comes out

and i sure am glad i was available for this magnificent event

we both gonna be knocked out for a good minute

and probably wake up and do it all over again

but let me get my mind back right to further enjoy our night

What I wouldnt do

I swear I saw you at church last sunday
--- i swear I saw you from across the room
and I was about to get it on and poppin'
staring at u like u from the black lagoon
but nahhh I was probably trippin'
-- trippin' and wishing and thinking about daydreams turned into reality
I almost broke down in tears when I thought it was you
-----man if u only knew
If i had one wish
--- all I would wish is to have you
Nobody else
-- not even some converse shoes
yup thats how serious it is
Im trying be the bigger man
and give u up cold turkey
but it aint seem to be workin'
No guy compares
--- and yeah yeah to my audience
" You aint supposed to compare"
well uhhh when u find somebody, or been with somebody that never really did you wrong
and only did misdemeanors nothing quite serious
then step to, correctly and sing me your song because right about now this aint about you
its about US
--- man if you only knew
I know wont no other chick in fayetteville treat like I can
I may not be Ms. Bomb Diggity or Ms. Bad Bitch
but Im a sweet Romantic Chick ready to always see you smile
-- because I love to see you smile
especially when you're mad
Its the best
-- it drives me wild seeing your smile turn upside down
and ignoring u until u cant take it no more and do anything u can for my attention
then you right at it again
--- SMILING that is
Im starting to believe it when I say I love you for the rest of my days
--crazy huh, most times I think so
Ive never told you this but every time I hear Jagged Edge
you come in to mind
-- and its funny cause you cant sing but its something
----- with them other guys I dont feel that sting like I used to
Ive been single for so long but I still remember how you smell
I sound like an obessed fan lookin through the peep hole of your door

Dedicated to the girl with no voice

* This is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Hope you like, I wrote it especially for you*

Tossin' and turnin'
Sqirmin' and Sqirmin'
in my bed...
Breathing heavily
continues throughtout tonight
cant seem to find a solution without your light
through my huge sobs, I want to say:

I'm still loving you; with all my heart
I was always smart but when you reached into my heart
I forgot all the book smarts and became weak like a crack fiend
We fit each other like two peas in a pod
or earphones and an iPod
and the best yet the last two pieces to a difficult puzzle
When I gazed into your eyes the last time
you spoke to me, without words, and told me you loved me
it warmed my heart up like a bowl of soup
but now im just recognized that you just nuked it
We've been through this a million times and now
that you are back to your old self
it's like I'm a ghost but I'm always friendly
No matter how bad this hurts
I could never be mad around u
Just tell me why you claimed you wanted to marry me
knowing damn well you werent really feelin' me
she is your moon, stars, wind, and earth
and what am I, just barely there?
Did you forget I was there?
when you played me with all the others
I stuck by, crazy and low as that may sound,
I just wanted to be around
Listen, and I mean listen really good
You dont know how you have changed my life
Some times I imagine being your wife
and then I remember how happy you are with
 your prized possession lover
and it pains me deeply
you once told me the truth and nothing else
and now I cant even get you to say one word to me
I wonder why that is?
Well whether I like it or love it or not
I'm still loving you and all I can ask myself is why this and that
I try to make up the answers to my questions in my head
I'm afraid you wont give a damn

why dont you give a damn when we have gone through this all before?
You love me, you love me not.

I just dont understand.
I just dont understand.

and maybe you two were meant to be
and happily
but what about me
I know you love me.
You honestly cant deny it

Ordinary American

What is an ordinary American?

Does he wear his clothes just right?

Does she comb her hair one hundred strokes every night?

Are they married with three kids, a dog, and a white picket fence?

Do the women stay at home for defense

while the men work hard to the bacon?

Are their kids blue-eyed with shoulder-length hair?

Does everything come in pairs?

What is an ordinary American?

There are NONE!

Been Around

She got a bit of tricks
and slipped it on some dicks
only to get some damn experience
a little too much experience
at the end of the day
lookin' into the mirror
and got scared
tears rollin' down her face
voice in the back of her head sayin'
"shouldnt have strayed away from God"
terrified of the possible results
she stays quiet
continues to life her life
with sum huge fuckin' changes
never again will she share her tricks
with underdeservin' dicks because in the moments
of the "passion" they were sayin' sweet literal nothings
in her ear.

Always Home

For better or for worse
through thick and thin
and then we kissed.
Raising our children,
going on dates strictly
for the one I married
make me love my family
even more.
Although I’m always on the road
away from home
I always have to remember
the little saying:
Home is where the heart is.
So I guess I’m always home
while I talk to my husband on the
phone about how his day was,
how our children are doing, and
how much we miss one another
but the reality is
I’m always gone.
My job keeps me on the road
making love to my instruments.
The little time I take off from
The beautiful, lonely road
I drop my luggage off at the door
And rush to give him a hug.
our relationship was printed
in the latest Hallmark card.
At home, is when I remember what I love about us
is our understandings towards one another.
He understands me with just a glimpse
of my sparkling eye.
I understand him with a friendly smile.
Sometimes I feel like my constant traveling
has an effect on our children
but they are still young and impressionable
so we have time.
Finally being able to relax on the microfiber
couch helps me realize that
it takes me higher that I could ever imagine
to be uplifted and completely understood by
you.

Merry Father's Day

I was just an embryo when my father left.
I had a brain disease for a few weeks
from my mother’s heart bleeding once
she noticed all his clothes disappeared
like a ghost from their small closet.
I would have slapped him with my tail
if I wasn’t so comfortably warm in that
place I like to compare to heaven.
That was back then I was trapped in the womb
but now I’m out, healthy, living, and
continuing to grow without any of your love.
One day I picked up a gun,
contemplating shooting my brains out to the sun
because I was tired of having to point out
that you were never there to share
any of my childhood memories with me.
Tired of waking up in the middle of the night
without mom being sleep in her bed
because of her third job as a waitress
at a restaurant to try to keep the lights on.
Balancing stress, mom just couldn’t
teach me how to be a man.
It seems as if you forgot that physically
and emotionally, me and the woman you once loved
are completely different.
Though it was hard,
she tried her best to make me
understand the good and the bad
in both sexes.
I was saved by someone
even though I didn’t know
their name or where they
lived but all I knew was that they prayed.
No bullets in the gun
that I wanted to end my life.
Relief seeped through my skin
as I cried on my mother’s bosom.
I used to loathe not knowing
you as a man and as my father
because I ached for your love
but now I love you unconditionally for
whatever you were and were not
because it made me a better man
than mom could ever imagine.

Remedy

as sick as it is
i still want us to be
the way we used to be
why do things change?

as sick as it is
i still want us
to be as passionate as red
and as bright as
highlighter yellow

as sick as it is
i still want for our
hearts to speak to each other
as they once did

as sick as it is
i still want to get caught
up in your web
that wouldnt let me out
until I was nearly dead

as sick as it is
i still think you can be seduced
by the innocence
that lies behind my
weeping eyes

as sick as it is
i still enjoy the beat
of my heart when
in con fron ta tion
with you, knees shaking,
heart beating faster than

as sick as it is
i still enjoy the
bits of humiliation
i believe you put me through
only to realize
it wasnt you

as sick as it is
i still love you
sick isn't it?

'Oh, I didn't even see you there"

i just love running into people that i want to see.

it makes me feel all warm inside

i wonder if they can tell that i'm happy to see them

sometimes i try to play it off

like i didnt see them

when in fact i did

but i figure if i play it off

it wont be so obvious

that they are about to make me smile

you ever felt that way?

Good Silent Cry

"Sometimes good-bye is a second chance" - Shinedown

he lives in my heart
I felt him move
at the sight I was
frightened
then smiled
then cried
physically I want to
hold you
i want to see you smile
that infectious smile
but you moved on
leaving me here all alone
I still cant believe you're gone
you're number is still in my phone
on some nights, I lay down
wishing it was you that called
but you have moved on
constantly beating myself up
no going back only forward
please just never leave
this heart where you live

in my head, I wonder why I took advantage of you

why I overlooked you, as if you didnt deserve me
hey, here comes April

r.i.p. Willie Pitts

Journey Begins today

from listening to Shinedown, Eminem's "Beautiful",
    Simple Plan, and much more
from being so inspired by many blogs
    (recently, but not so recently femilives.blogspot.com)
from being tired of not being heard
from hearing "You give good advice"
from being annoyed with the littlest things
from seeing beauty in the most hideous things
from being such a romantic
from loving without conditions
from longing to be understood
from longing to understand myself
from sitting alone in the cafeteria observing
from being in college
from losing a friend
- rest in peace
from being the only child
I intend to go on a journey
I've packed everything up
the luggage is in my heart
I believe I'm ready for
what ever I cross paths with
I must admit, I am nervous
but it's not the back down kind of nervous
its the kind of nervous that also includes curosity
I'm looking for something and when I find it
I'll be sure not to be upset